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quarta-feira, julho 29, 2009

esse papo já tá qualquer coisa

Não, meu amor. Não estou falando do mundo, eu estou falando e olhe para mim. Eu não preciso ser brilhante para existir, não preciso ser famosa para opinar ou talvez ter sucesso para ser qualquer coisa que seja, mas ser. Eu sou, antes de descobrirem. Tenho certeza de que não descobrirão, tenho certeza e quero essa certeza de ser mais uma camuflada pela massa, ser uma massa, um povo, uma voz entre tantas vozes. Mas que grita.
Por gritar, eu sou. Mesmo que jamais escutem ou quem sabe escutem e não deem atenção a mim, eu grito e é isso que faz de mim um ser gritante, um ser que faz a minha vida e meu destino, um ser ativo que vive e cava nas profundas entranhas da minha alma um vestígio de alegria. Vestígio tão importante e poderoso que é responsável por uma felicidade profunda, jorradora da vida e do amor a mesma vida.
Eu grito e isso não me torna exuberante. Sou mais uma aí, perdida na massa, da cor cinza a da voz tão igual as outras vozes. Eu também choro rio de lágrimas e rio até chorar de alegria.
Mas eu grito! Não como uma desgorvenada que sempre fala o que pensa, que não mede consequências, que não escolhe para quem dizer, muito do que falo é verdadeiro e se não é tudo, é porque tenho bom senso. Não quero guerrear contra os perdidos e muito menos com os onipotentes. Se não fossem as palavras que escrevo, tudo que penso explodiria numa loucura única e imbátivel. Eu preciso gritar, escrever, nem que seja porcarias. São minhas. É minha vida isso aqui. Uma pausa para o grito é antes de tudo uma prevenção de um futuro enfarto. Ou de uma explosão emotiva psicopática. Ou quem sabe, uma veste de um ser que não grita, que não faz sua vida e seu destino, que é entregue. Um agente passivo.

36 comentários:

Maurício Campos disse...

Taí uma apresentação para seu blog.
É bonito ver, luna, que há pessoas que comungam de muitas certezas como a gente. Que há pessoas que descobrem isso há tempo. Que há pessoas que sempre redescobrem isso aí que é a coisa mais simples do mundo, mas é a mais difícil de alcançar.
Se expressar, e isso só para ti, não para os outros (se quiserem embarcar que venham), é o melhor que temos a fazer.
Parabéns por continuar.

Não pá(a)ra!
beijo.

Fábio Coelho disse...

"Eu também choro rio de lágrimas e rio até chorar de alegria."
Plenitude da criatividade
linda essa frase luna, linda!
olha só o que vc fala, que interessante
a ultima frase: olha o conceito que vc deu para a pausa do grito: uma veste para um agente passivo!
a gente tem que gritar né
altãããããão!

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Lindo, tudo! A propósito, agi impulsivamente: uma amiga sofria com esta questão de "existir"... Ontem eu imprimi o texto e li, com toda emoção aflorada, dissecando parte de sua essência Luna, a qual sou fascinada! Arrepia, me instiga a emoção. Sinto sua falta (risos).
Beijos.

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